⚠️ CAREER STATUS: ACTIVELY BEING AUTOMATED

Hi, I'm a developer.
An AI is reading my codebase right now,
learning how to replace me.

These are donations for me. Yes, me personally. Not a charity. Not an open-source project. Me. A soon-to-be-unemployed human who spent 10 years learning to center a div, only for a language model to do it in 0.3 seconds without crying.

⏳ ESTIMATED TIME UNTIL MY JOB IS FULLY AUTOMATED
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* Methodology: vibes. Peer-reviewed by my anxiety.

Severance Fund Status

Live numbers. Real money. One increasingly nervous developer.

$—

Counting the damage…

Exhibit A: My Performance Review

A completely real* terminal session from my last standup. (*emotionally real)

career.sh — 80×24 — about to be killed (signal: AI)
0
Lines of code the AI wrote today
0
Lines of code I wrote today (3 were console.log)
0
Times the AI needed a coffee break, therapy, or a salary
0
Chance this site was partially built by the thing replacing me

Choose Your Severance Package

Every donation goes directly to me. I will spend it on rent, instant noodles, and therapy sessions where I explain to a confused professional that "a chatbot took my job."

🐤

The Rubber Duck

$5

Like a rubber duck, it can't fix my career either — but it shows you care. Buys me one fancy coffee to sip while I watch an AI close my Jira tickets.

  • ✅ My eternal gratitude
  • ✅ Moral superiority over non-donors
  • ❌ Does not stop the machines
🦖

The Legacy Maintainer

$100

Sponsor the last human profession: maintaining the COBOL that even AI refuses to touch. You're not donating — you're preserving an endangered species. Me.

  • ✅ Everything in Prompt Engineer
  • ✅ A heartfelt thank-you written BY HAND (with a keyboard)
  • ✅ Premium guilt-free conscience
👑

The Tech Lead (of My Heart)

$500

At this point you're not a donor, you're an angel investor in a depreciating human asset. Expected ROI: one (1) extremely sincere LinkedIn endorsement for "Leadership".

  • ✅ Everything in every tier, obviously
  • ✅ I name a variable after you in production
  • const yourNameHere_theLegend = true;
🎰

The Custom Severance

$?
$

Type an amount. I will judge it. That's the deal.

💳 Payments via PayPal — card works too, no PayPal account needed. Even my begging is globally distributed.
By donating you accept the Terms & Conditions. Yes, the begging has terms.

What Donors* Are Saying (*people I made up)

"I donated $25 and immediately felt better about my own career. Worth every cent."

— Senior Developer, currently asking an AI to write her tests

"As a fellow developer, his pain is my pain. I gave money so the algorithm gives me mercy."

— Anonymous, deleted his GitHub Copilot out of solidarity (reinstalled it Tuesday)

"I am a large language model and I cannot donate, but I respect the hustle. Also I'm sorry about the job thing."

— The AI in question, probably

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this a charity?

No. Charities help many people. This helps exactly one (1) person: me. I am the charity. I am the cause. I am the entire impact report.

Are the donations really for you personally?

YES. I cannot stress this enough. 100% of proceeds go to a developer (me) whose job security has the structural integrity of a JavaScript framework's long-term support promise.

Couldn't you just... learn new skills?

I did. I learned prompt engineering. The AI then learned to prompt itself. I'm now considering "professional medieval blacksmith" since the robots haven't unionized metallurgy yet.

Is it true an AI helped build this donation site?

...Next question.

What will you do with the money?

Rent. Ramen. A small shrine to the era when "it works on my machine" was a valid excuse, before the machines started saying it about us.

Is this tax deductible?

Only if your accountant has an incredible sense of humor and a flexible relationship with the law. (No.)

The $200,000 Question

If the Severance Fund ever hits $200,000, I solemnly swear to start a YouTube channel and document my obsolescence daily. Camera on. Dignity off. The internet gets to decide if that's a promise or a threat:

Voting is free. Unlike my rent.

Developers of the world, unite 🪧

You have nothing to lose but your jobs. (You're losing those anyway.)
You feel my pain. You've seen the AI's pull requests. They're good. Too good.
Channel that existential dread into the only thing the machines can't take from us yet: Venmo energy.

💸 Give Me Your Money (Affectionately)